Parenting Styles and Abilites Essay

Families come in many different forms. Back in the 1950’s/60’s most families compromised of a father, a mother and at least one child, this is known as a nuclear family structure. In the past few decades though divorce rates rose which has caused a rise in reconstituted families for example step families, parents now work longer hours which has seen more children being raised by extended family members eg: grandparents and new changes in law has seen same sex marriages become legal. Within my placements many of the young people using the service have ended up in their situation due to family breakdowns. Many of the families live off benefits or on the poverty line and are battling with addictions to alcohol or drugs or are suffering from depression. This has a knock on affect to the young people I feel as they are therefore expected to grow up quicker in order to look after themselves or any other children that may be in the house. Also from what I have seen most of the young people do not seem to have any ambition or hopes for a better life and many get involved in the same kind of lifestyle that they have been used to all of their lives. This would agree with Bandura’s Social Learning Theory where people copy behaviours from their peers. In regards to the above Labour and Liberal Democrats have been campaigning for same sex families to have the right to adopt. Years ago this would have been frowned upon, but because same sex couples are now more ‘accepted ‘ in society I believe if they have the best intentions for the child then why shouldn’t they be allowed to raise their own families. Functionalists would not agree with this the same as they do not agree with single parent families as they believe in the nuclear family for reproduction, primary socialisation and economic support. I feel the young people that I work with have come from uninvolved parenting backgrounds. Many of them have been in trouble with the law and have never really been told right from wrong. Another reason for some of the young peoples behaviour is survival methods as they have been brought up to fend for themselves. Other parenting styles are indulgent, authoritarian and authoritative. Indulgent also known as permissive parenting normally means the parent/s are very involved in the child’s life and interests but does not believe in discipline. This results in many of the kids growing up to believe that they can do as they please and know no boundaries. Communication style would be very passive. The parent can come across very apologetic, at a loss for words, weak, hurt and anxious. Authoritarian parenting is mainly ensuring the child has strict guidelines and rules to follow and very much believes in discipline. This way of parenting normally results in the child growing up to be unhappy and in some cases they rebel against the control that they have been brought by. The parents way of communicating with the child would be very aggressive and commanding, loaded words and questions, putting the blame on the child, sarcastic and loud with a cold front. Finally there is authoritative parenting which is probably made up by most of the population. This kind of parenting shows an interest in the child but also teaches the child right from wrong. Children brought up in this kind of environment grow up happy and enthusiastic to achieve. Communication methods for this kind of parenting would be assertive. Ensuring point gets across, statements of wants and needs, caring and confident. Within the care sector in the UK it is likely you will come across all of the family styles mentioned above. In many other countries parenting styles will not play such an important part in the childs life. Children from as young as five years of age are sent out to work by their families in order to make a living, and in some cases the children do not have a choice as they have lost their family members to different environmental disasters, diseases etc. These societal issues play more of a part in the way the children grow up as they know they have no choice but to go out to work in order to survive. Recent TV progammes have followed families that live in slums in India. The whole family goes out to work long hours everyday rummaging through rubbish to see what can be recycled, the children do not always get to attend school as it is too expensive. At the end of the day the whole family sit, make and eat dinner together. Family values play a huge part in their lives and the sense of community is great, I feel this is more important as the family all seem to appreciate each other more and don’t take things for granted. In the UK parents are now having to work longer and longer hours therefore spending more time away from home, but unfortunately as in India where this seems to bring the family and community loser together it seems to be having the reverse affect here causing families to seperate and communities to be divided. I personally come from a very big close family so family is very important to me. I believe that if the young people that I worked with had close relationships with their parents then their outlook on life could have been very different. I think within the social care sector I could find this very difficult to deal with seeing how some families treat their children and are very uninvolved in their upbringing. Obviously the most important thing is ensuring the safety of the family especially the children, this would mean having to learn to accept different families styles of parenting whether I agreed with them or not as long as there were no signs of danger and ensuring the children were not put at risk in anyway. I know this is something I could struggle with but that I could not let interfere with the way my work was carried out with the family and have to accept that all families are different and live by different values.